Can I tell you a story about a girl who used to have a REALLY hard time in relationships?
She wanted to be in a relationship SO BADLY. She wanted to feel loved and respected. She wanted connection and to receive emotional support, and to give it, too. She tended to choose people who were emotionally distant or maybe needed to be convinced that they were ready for a relationship. This pattern didn’t work out well for her.
Read MoreI recently shared on the Becoming Relational podcast that I’ve been struggling with feelings of low self-worth and doubt—a crisis of confidence! I predicted this would happen when I signed the contract to write my new book. I knew that this level of devotion to something so important to me would challenge me in ways I hadn’t been challenged yet. I’m familiar with this territory, so I know it’s temporary, but that doesn’t mean it’s not tough when it happens.
Read MoreBecoming better at relationships doesn't just mean intimate partnerships--it's also about how you show up for your community and support your neighbors. What if you made your community your Valentine this year?
Read MoreLet’s talk about concrete, practical skills that can support you in having healthier, more fulfilling, and reciprocal relationships this year.
In a world that seems to be consistently generating new injustices, fears, and concerns about the safety of people we love, I want us to feel a sense of agency in how we show up in our relationships.
Read MoreRelationships, attachment styles, boundaries, and the hard-won lessons I've learned over the course of my relational life--that's what we're chatting about in Episode 2 of Becoming Relational with Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW.
Read MoreIt begins in small ways: making a different choice than we would otherwise because we think it will make us appear better or cooler or more interesting to someone else. Shifting how we relate to something that has been important to us because another person doesn’t see the same value in it. Minimizing our needs because they are inconvenient to someone else, and if we inconvenience that person, they might just go away.
Read MoreIt’s important for us to understand our parts and what they are trying to do when we are using an attachment lens. These parts can give us so much information about our needs and what would be helpful and supportive to us in our current relationships (or inform us about what we really want and need in a partnership if we aren’t in one currently and want to be).
Read MoreOur environment is one of constant distraction, overwhelm, dysregulation and the desire to be almost anywhere that you are not currently. What if our work is to learn to channel those feelings into what matters most and let go of the rest?
Read MoreI’ve received a few strongly-worded emails about my offerings (including the fact that Monica and I are including a bonus astrology reading in our HELD group coaching program, because astrology is not "evidence-based"), and I wanted to address it directly because I feel like it connects to some greater issues that I see at play in the therapy/healing world currently.
Read MoreI have a bit of a controversial opinion: maybe we should be investing in the relationships we have instead of fantasizing about something better.
Read MoreI have something exciting to share:
I'm bored in my business, and I am thrilled about this!
Don’t get me wrong—I absolutely love attachment work and that love isn't going anywhere. I began my private therapy practice in 2015 and dove headfirst into all things attachment. From my training in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples to the first three levels of Dynamic Attachment Repatterning, I've been thoroughly immersed in the world of attachment theory for many years. The resonance I feel with this work is core-deep.
This blog post is a follow-up to a previously published post, Is Your Partner Avoidant or Abusive? Let’s talk about the differences. This post continues to receive comments and engagement, and I want to continue the discussion here with additional nuance and updated considerations.
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