Navigating the Shame of Self-Abandonment | Becoming Relational with Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW S1E10

In this episode of Becoming Relational, we explore shame, self abandonment, and how breaking people-pleasing patterns can transform your relationships. I'm sharing honestly about something that took me years to understand: how shame and self abandonment are deeply connected. I explore my own experience of hitting rock bottom and the slow, sometimes painful journey of finding my way back to myself. We talk about how so many of us have been socialized to put everyone else first, why the word "selfish" can feel the worst thing you could be called, and what it actually takes to stop abandoning yourself in relationships. I also open up about how changing my own patterns shifted the way others showed up for me — and why I believe that's worth every bit of discomfort along the way.

Self-Abandonment in Relationships: Understanding Attachment Styles, Setting Boundaries, and Prioritizing Your Needs | Becoming Relational with Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW S1E9

Self-abandonment, people-pleasing, insecure attachment—in this episode, I'm exploring a pattern I see every single day in my therapy and coaching practice, and one I've struggled with myself.

How to Feel Worthy When You're Insecure | Becoming Relational with Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW S1E8

Today, I’m sharing about my personal journey with self-worth and confidence, and how attachment theory has supported me in navigating unworthiness and insecurity. I’ve been wrestling with feelings of unworthiness lately, a familiar struggle with believing that I belong and that what I offer truly matters. If you've ever felt like you're not enough or wondered how to show up authentically when self-doubt takes hold, I hope this episode supports you. I explore the transformative question that changed everything, shared with me by a former therapist. I also offer practical strategies for building self-trust from the inside out, setting healthy boundaries, recognizing when we're seeking external validation to fill internal emptiness, and cultivating the self-compassion and emotional security we all deserve.

Why You Should Invest in the Relationships You Have: Becoming Relational with Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW S1E7

Today I’m exploring relationship repair, secure attachment, and relationship disconnection—and why investing in the relationships you already have, rather than constantly searching for something new, might be the most revolutionary choice you can make. Let’s discuss how to navigate relationship disconnection, practice intentional repair, and build resilient, secure relationships through accountability and compassion.

What Your Nervous System Wants

Let’s explore nervous system regulation and how understanding your unique nervous system can transform your relationships and daily life. I discuss attachment styles, nervous system health, and practical tools for emotional regulation that you can use right away.

Make Your Community Your Valentine This Year: Becoming Relational with Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW S1E5

Becoming better at relationships doesn't just mean intimate partnerships--it's also about how you show up for your community and support your neighbors. What if you made your community your Valentine this year?

How to Build Emotional Capacity (and Why It Matters, Especially Now)

Building capacity for stress is a skill that supports all of our relationships—and helps us cope more effectively with our daily challenges and our greater emotional landscape. This type of work is especially important in the context of attachment theory, relationships, and attachment styles: we can ALL use skills that support us in engaging in relationships with a greater capacity for discomfort.

3 Skills to Cultivate for Healthier Relationships This Year: Becoming Relational with Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW S1E3

Let’s talk about concrete, practical skills that can support you in having healthier, more fulfilling, and reciprocal relationships this year.

In a world that seems to be consistently generating new injustices, fears, and concerns about the safety of people we love, I want us to feel a sense of agency in how we show up in our relationships.

What I Wish I Knew About Relationships In the Past–And What I’m Working on Now: Becoming Relational with Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW S1E2

Relationships, attachment styles, boundaries, and the hard-won lessons I've learned over the course of my relational life--that's what we're chatting about in Episode 2 of Becoming Relational with Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW.

Embodiment is Foundational to Healthy Relationships

Embodiment and connection to self is one of the most important ways we can improve our relationships with others. Developing awareness of our emotional patterns, parts, triggers, and needs allows us to communicate more effectively and slow down the relational process so we can really see one another. Feeling more at home in yourself is a beautiful gift to give and receive, and I’m really excited to share an embodiment opportunity with you!

How to Connect, Based on Your Attachment Style

In the attachment and relationship world, we talk a lot about prioritizing connection, but we don’t necessarily talk about *how* to go about the connecting part. Depending on your attachment style, the prospect of creating connection may be fraught with stress or anxiety, or maybe even feelings of desperation or dread. I think it’s important to explore what it means to really connect with another person, what our goals are for connection, and how to connect in a way that feels natural and ultimately safe for us.

Healing is Our Responsibility to Each Other

I’ve been thinking a lot about healing our attachment wounds in the context of community. I am so lucky to have an amazing network of people in my life who are fully on board with doing the work—our individual work, our collective work, and everything in between—and in conversation with these people, I am reminded of not only my care and love for them but of my responsibility to them. My life does not exist in a vacuum. The actions I choose to take and how I show up in the world directly impact my family and my community, and our communities are all connected.

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