We learn to love ourselves through our relationships with other people. This is supportive if you grew up in an environment where your caregivers and family members encouraged you to express and stay true to yourself, honor your needs, and stand up for yourself in challenging moments.
Read MoreAs a therapist, I have the honor and privilege of being able to witness people at all stages of their healing paths. This means that I’m working with people who are still feeling very hurt and we are sorting through the pain together; people who have some space from their experiences and are formulating a plan to practice different emotional patterns; and people who are actively engaging in new routines, making mistakes, and self-correcting based on their new emotional blueprints. Across the board, everyone is actively learning. Sometimes I also encounter folks in the world who haven’t started on their healing work yet or are feeling stuck where they are, and their energy is very different.
Read MoreI’ve been talking with lots of folks about grief recently. Has this been coming up for you, too? As exciting as change and growth and healing are, there is sadness that goes along with these transitions. It’s something I wished we talked about more, but we don’t. There is so much focus on the beauty of change and healing (which is positivity-washed) that we sometimes forget that sadness fits in with all of it.
Read MoreI’ve been thinking a lot about our opportunities to tell the truth about our lives. Do you do this? When someone asks you how you’re doing, are you honest? Or is it just easier to say “good” and move on, burying the truth even deeper inside?
I’ve definitely had my ups and downs over the past several months—and for me, telling the truth about my experience helps me stay in my integrity, stay connected to my humanness and our collective humanness, and gives me permission to be fully myself. No one’s life is perfect. None of us get out of this unscathed.
Read MoreI’m wrapping up my month focused on pleasure and I’ve learned a LOT over the past several weeks. Choosing pleasure allowed me to direct my energy toward what I could change rather than what I couldn’t. Choosing pleasure in and of itself allowed me to feel more satisfied and content.
Read MoreWhen I created Heirloom Counseling, my intention was to bring focus to the fact that our relational patterns are passed down from generation to generation. This means we have the opportunity to heal our entire family line when we show up to do the work in the present moment. This realization is incredibly powerful if we believe we have the tools to engage in relationships with integrity and awareness. If not, this task can feel overwhelming and pressured.
Read MoreYou know how important connection is to relationships and a fulfilling life—you wouldn’t be here otherwise. Connection is one of those things we talk about in a vague way, as if everyone just has it and you can find it conveniently. But I don’t think that’s true…
We don’t need anything more than we need each other.
Read MoreThis moment in history is not new; I know in my heart and feel in my body that we have been here before, that people of color and queer folks and other marginalized groups have been feeling this pain for as long as they have been alive. We must honor and acknowledge that if we are going to step forward with integrity…
Read MoreMost of the people I love have had difficult life experiences at some point. All of us have experienced something difficult before. What matters most is how we perceived those events. How we feel about our difficult experiences matters. In fact, it’s what matters most about a difficult event…
Read MoreMany of my clients, colleagues, and friends know I am a cancer survivor. Today is what I call my Cancerversary--diagnosis day. It's the day my life changed forever. It's also the day I decided to fight like hell for my life and my health. I won't ever forget it for lots of reasons.
Read MoreThis is the first time I have written any part of my cancer story. It’s not perfect; in fact, it’s far from it. It’s also long. If you have been to therapy before, you know that the first time we speak or write a story that is based in traumatic experience, we are sometimes surprised. This is pretty personal. I am telling this story because I know there are people out there who have had this experience, or have a good friend or family member who has, and maybe this will help you understand. Maybe you won’t feel alone (you’re not). I also hope it may help you or a loved one advocate for yourself. Our bodies know things; mine did, and I’m glad I learned how to listen.
Read MoreHi! I’ve been thinking a lot about saying no lately. Meghan O’Malley and I just finished our very first #nopeAF: A Boundaries Workshop for Women on Saturday, and it was AMAZING. We talked a lot about saying no, and also a lot about saying yes—when we really feel enthusiastic and aligned with what we’re saying yes to.
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