Every Modality is a Framework

I’ve received a few strongly-worded emails about my offerings (including the fact that Monica and I are including a bonus astrology reading in our HELD group coaching program, because astrology is not "evidence-based"), and I wanted to address it directly because I feel like it connects to some greater issues that I see at play in the therapy/healing world currently.

Elizabeth GilletteApril 24, 2024anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, attachment coaching, attachment styles, attachment theory, elizabeth gillette, held with elizabeth and monica, held group coachingComment

How Many Truths Can Be True At Once?

In this eclipse time, where the things we don’t need are falling away left and right, I want to offer some permission slips for you:

Elizabeth GilletteApril 5, 2024anxious attachment, avoidant attachment style, disorganized attachment, held group coaching, held with elizabeth and monica, attachment coaching, attachment theory, healing attachment woundsComment

Your younger parts want to know who is in charge 👶🏻

As I’ve been researching and planning for our disorganized attachment offerings, I’ve been thinking about how easy it can be to slip into younger versions of ourselves when stress, trauma, fear, or overwhelm creep in. Parts work, or Internal Family Systems, can be a beautiful and extremely helpful framework for understanding why we show up the way we do in moments of stress and anxiety—especially in our relationships.

Elizabeth GilletteFebruary 28, 2024anxious attachment, avoidant attachment style, disorganized attachment, held retreat, held with elizabeth and monica, elizabeth gillette, attachment theory, attachment therapist, attachment coachComment

Safety, Clarity, and Connection: Supporting Insecure Attachment Styles

Safety, clarity, and connection are qualities that create a grounded experience in the nervous system. When confusion and disorientation are corrected (clarity), the body and brain feel safe (safety), and the ability to connect is freed up (connection). Over the many years I’ve been exploring attachment work and supporting clients in developing a felt sense of safety in their bodies, these are the aspects that have resonated most.

Elizabeth GilletteFebruary 13, 2024attachment style, attachment theory, fearful avoidant, disorganized attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment style, secure attachment relationship, elizabeth gillette, held with elizabeth and monicaComment

Did you grow up in a chaotic environment?: a peek into the disorganized attachment style

One of the things I share with clients all the time is the reminder that we come by our attachment patterning honestly. When we dig more deeply into this idea, we can recognize the importance of the family dynamics we experience when we are young and how those patterns shape our relationships as adults. So often, the stress of daily living becomes the soup we swim in as children.

Elizabeth GilletteJanuary 17, 2024disorganized attachment, fearful avoidant, attachment style, attachment theory, anxious avoidant attachment Comments

I used to think I had to hold space for EVERYTHING

I have been thinking a lot about how I used to think I had to hold space for EVERYTHING. It wasn't long ago that my boundaries were messy and I was overly accommodating. I caused myself a significant amount of anxiety (not to mention drama and ways to keep myself busy) by engaging in relational dynamics that were unhealthy and unpredictable.

Elizabeth GilletteSeptember 14, 2023attachment theory, anxious attachment style, avoidant attachment style, disorganized attachment, fearful avoidant Comments

What's the update for your life story?

Twenty years ago, I had just turned 18 and my dad hadn’t died yet.

I was preparing to move for my first year of college. I was working as a hostess at a restaurant, eating baguette and butter for dinner most nights I was there. I was in a relationship with a person who was exceptionally intelligent and emotionally manipulative, and I felt like I didn’t deserve anything more than I already had, in that relationship or otherwise. My self-esteem was tanked and I was depressed.

Elizabeth GilletteAugust 14, 2023attachment style, attachment theory, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment style, disorganized attachment, relational trauma, relational coaching Comments

Loving yourself might look different than you thought

We learn to love ourselves through our relationships with other people. This is supportive if you grew up in an environment where your caregivers and family members encouraged you to express and stay true to yourself, honor your needs, and stand up for yourself in challenging moments.

Elizabeth GilletteSeptember 28, 2022self love, attachment theory, attachment styles, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, healing, attachment coach, attachment therapist Comment

Embodiment is Foundational to Healthy Relationships

Embodiment and connection to self is one of the most important ways we can improve our relationships with others. Developing awareness of our emotional patterns, parts, triggers, and needs allows us to communicate more effectively and slow down the relational process so we can really see one another. Feeling more at home in yourself is a beautiful gift to give and receive, and I’m really excited to share an embodiment opportunity with you!

Elizabeth GilletteSeptember 8, 2022retreat, embodiment, attachment styles, healthy relationships, attachment therapist, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment Comment

Knowing Vs. Experiencing in Attachment Work

Are you the kind of person who can read article after article, book after book, and loves to absorb information and learn things? When I become interested in something, I dive right in. I want to know as much as I can.

But knowing only gets me so far.

Elizabeth GilletteAugust 19, 2022anxious avoidant dynamic, anxious attachment style, avoidant attachment style, dismissive avoidant, disorganized attachment, fearful avoidant, attachment theory, group coaching, held with elizabeth and monica, elizabeth gillette Comment

I have BIG news!

I have been dreaming about sharing some big news with you for months, and I am finally able to tell you! I’m just going to get right into it:

I wrote a book!

Elizabeth GilletteMarch 11, 2022attachment styles, avoidant attachment style, avoidant attachment, secure attachment style, secure attachment, insecure attachment, anxious, anxious attachment, anxious attachment style, secure attachment relationship, disorganized attachment

What you don’t heal follows you

I hope you are doing well and February is feeling more ease-full than January (I’m not sure what your January was like, but mine was LONG).

Like many of us, I’ve been hard at work in my own personal therapy on processing some of the difficult experiences I’ve gone through and growing my awareness of the old patterns I carry with me, many of which I don’t even realize are still hanging around. And just like my clients, I have had several moments where I’ve said out loud “I honestly thought I worked through that already! Why is it coming up for me again?” My answer to myself recently has been this: healing has many layers.

Elizabeth GilletteFebruary 8, 2022avoidant attachment triggers, anxious attachment, attachment styles, anxious avoidant trap, anxious, anxious-avoidant, anxious-ambivalent, attachment style, attachment theory, avoidant attachment, attachment, disorganized attachment, avoidant dismissive Comments

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