Posts tagged anxious avoidant trap
How to Apologize When You Haven't Done Anything Wrong

Have you ever been in a relationship where your partner let you know they wouldn’t be able to move on until you apologize to them? And you’re wondering why you should have to apologize when you don’t even know what you’re arguing about (and you clearly didn’t do anything wrong and they should get over it)?

Yep. It’s definitely a thing.

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Healing the Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Dynamic: Part 2

One of the first blog posts I wrote about attachment in relationships has turned out to be my most-read post to date, and for good reason: the anxious-avoidant relationship dynamic can be REALLY HARD. I totally get it. If you have experienced it before, you know exactly what I’m talking about. All it takes is a snag in an interaction to trigger the negative cycle and before you know it, one person is pulling away and “going out for a while” and the other person is crying and angry and wondering how they ended up in a partnership with someone who doesn’t talk about feelings—ever.

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The Top 10 Things I Say In Therapy (plus a FLASH SALE!)

Each therapist has a different style. I like to think that mine is supportive and reminds people that they already have so much knowledge—and sometimes we need someone to reflect that wisdom back to us. In using the attachment framework I talk about so often in my blog, my goal is to deepen my clients’ understanding of their early (and current) life experiences and provide a fresh perspective so they can move toward healing. We all deserve healing and we all deserve support. That is how I approach every single session.

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Getting Clear: An Organized List of Blog Posts, from Me to You

People share their stories with me and often ask questions, like “what do I do next? How should I move forward? Do you know of any resources for this?” Because sometimes they just need a bit of information that will support them in approaching their challenges with as much integrity and love as possible. That is where my writing comes in. I want resources to feel accessible to you. We should have access to information to support us as we work to heal ourselves and our relationships. Sometimes we don’t have the capacity to read an entire book or even if we do, we don’t experience the connection and support we might when we talk to a real person who has done the work, too.

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We Are Here to Take Care of Each Other

This moment in history is not new; I know in my heart and feel in my body that we have been here before, that people of color and queer folks and other marginalized groups have been feeling this pain for as long as they have been alive. We must honor and acknowledge that if we are going to step forward with integrity…

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On Commitment

I believe that in relationships of any kind, we have to know the foundation of our choice to commit. It’s important to understand the reasons we choose to commit because our emotions and feelings are not always consistent. I love my partner very much, but when I am overwhelmed or grieving or processing trauma, I don’t see that as clearly or feel it as deeply…

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Why You Shouldn't Avoid Avoidants (this is a bit controversial)

A partner who doesn’t have self-awareness or isn’t interested in growing with you is probably not a good bet. This trait can belong to a person with any primary attachment style. I believe the popular literature that exists about attachment theory does not distinguish between people who are lacking self-awareness and people who have avoidant attachment. They are not the same thing.

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The Anxious-Avoidant Dynamic in Sexual Relationships with Jamie Brazell (Part 3)

We are back this week with the final piece of the Sex & Attachment Interview Series with Jamie Brazell! We are continuing our conversation about the anxious-avoidant relationship pattern, and Jamie is providing some tools and resources she offers to her clients when they are coping with this dynamic.

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The Anxious-Avoidant Dynamic in Sexual Relationships with Jamie Brazell (Part 2)

This week, we are diving right into the anxious-avoidant relationship pattern--one of the most common challenges partners face--and how it shows up in sexual and intimate relationships. Even the mild form of this dynamic can be incredibly frustrating and upsetting in relationships, and I believe it's important for us to look out for how it shows up in our own relationships (and how we engage in it personally)…

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