How to Feel Worthy When You're Insecure | Becoming Relational with Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW S1E8

Today, I’m sharing about my personal journey with self-worth and confidence, and how attachment theory has supported me in navigating unworthiness and insecurity. I’ve been wrestling with feelings of unworthiness lately, a familiar struggle with believing that I belong and that what I offer truly matters. If you've ever felt like you're not enough or wondered how to show up authentically when self-doubt takes hold, I hope this episode supports you. I explore the transformative question that changed everything, shared with me by a former therapist. I also offer practical strategies for building self-trust from the inside out, setting healthy boundaries, recognizing when we're seeking external validation to fill internal emptiness, and cultivating the self-compassion and emotional security we all deserve.

Elizabeth GilletteMarch 10, 2026attachment style, attachment theory, becoming relational with elizabeth gillette, healthy relationships, attachment coaching, attachment specialist, advocacy, community support

Why You Should Invest in the Relationships You Have: Becoming Relational with Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW S1E1

Today I’m exploring relationship repair, secure attachment, and relationship disconnection—and why investing in the relationships you already have, rather than constantly searching for something new, might be the most revolutionary choice you can make. Let’s discuss how to navigate relationship disconnection, practice intentional repair, and build resilient, secure relationships through accountability and compassion.

Elizabeth GilletteFebruary 24, 2026attachment style, attachment theory, becoming relational with elizabeth gillette, healthy relationships, attachment coaching, attachment specialist, advocacy, community support

What Your Nervous System Wants

Let’s explore nervous system regulation and how understanding your unique nervous system can transform your relationships and daily life. I discuss attachment styles, nervous system health, and practical tools for emotional regulation that you can use right away.

Elizabeth GilletteFebruary 17, 2026attachment theory, attachment style, becoming relational with elizabeth gillette, healthy relationships, community support, advocacy, attachment coaching, attachment specialistComment

How to Build Emotional Capacity (and Why It Matters, Especially Now)

Building capacity for stress is a skill that supports all of our relationships—and helps us cope more effectively with our daily challenges and our greater emotional landscape. This type of work is especially important in the context of attachment theory, relationships, and attachment styles: we can ALL use skills that support us in engaging in relationships with a greater capacity for discomfort.

Elizabeth GilletteJanuary 27, 2026attachment theory, attachment style, becoming relational with elizabeth gillette, healthy relationships, community support, advocacy, attachment coaching, attachment specialistComment

I Would Know You Anywhere

My oldest son (who is almost 6 now, for those of you who have been with me a long time!) had a Halloween parade at school. Naturally, he dressed as Leonardo from the Ninja Turtles (and the rest of us were his turtle entourage on Halloween night). The night before the parade, he asked me, “Mom, what if someone else is dressed as a ninja turtle in the parade? Will you know it’s me?”

Elizabeth GilletteNovember 7, 2025attachment style, Internal Family Systems, Internal Family Systems ad parts work, elizabeth gillette, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, healing attachment woundsComment

I Keep Trying to Get Impossible People to Love Me

I remember so many times in my early romantic relationships (and honestly, some adult friendships) when I truly did ignore all the warnings, some of them as blatant as “I do not want to be in a relationship right now.”

Elizabeth GilletteFebruary 20, 2025anxious attachment, avoidant dismissive, dismissive avoidant, avoidant attachment triggers, fearful avoidant attachment, disorganized attachment, anxious avoidant trap, attachment styleComment

Safety, Clarity, and Connection: Supporting Insecure Attachment Styles

Safety, clarity, and connection are qualities that create a grounded experience in the nervous system. When confusion and disorientation are corrected (clarity), the body and brain feel safe (safety), and the ability to connect is freed up (connection). Over the many years I’ve been exploring attachment work and supporting clients in developing a felt sense of safety in their bodies, these are the aspects that have resonated most.

Elizabeth GilletteFebruary 13, 2024attachment style, attachment theory, fearful avoidant, disorganized attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment style, secure attachment relationship, elizabeth gillette, held with elizabeth and monicaComment

Did you grow up in a chaotic environment?: a peek into the disorganized attachment style

One of the things I share with clients all the time is the reminder that we come by our attachment patterning honestly. When we dig more deeply into this idea, we can recognize the importance of the family dynamics we experience when we are young and how those patterns shape our relationships as adults. So often, the stress of daily living becomes the soup we swim in as children.

Elizabeth GilletteJanuary 17, 2024disorganized attachment, fearful avoidant, attachment style, attachment theory, anxious avoidant attachmentComment

What's the update for your life story?

Twenty years ago, I had just turned 18 and my dad hadn’t died yet.

I was preparing to move for my first year of college. I was working as a hostess at a restaurant, eating baguette and butter for dinner most nights I was there. I was in a relationship with a person who was exceptionally intelligent and emotionally manipulative, and I felt like I didn’t deserve anything more than I already had, in that relationship or otherwise. My self-esteem was tanked and I was depressed.

Elizabeth GilletteAugust 14, 2023attachment style, attachment theory, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment style, disorganized attachment, relational trauma, relational coachingComment

Is Emotional “Neglect” Abuse? An Attachment Perspective

This blog post is a follow-up to a previously published post, Is Your Partner Avoidant or Abusive? Let’s talk about the differences. This post continues to receive comments and engagement, and I want to continue the discussion here with additional nuance and updated considerations.

Elizabeth GilletteMarch 19, 2023avoidant attachment triggers, anxious attachment, anxious avoidant trap, attachment style, attachment styles, attachment theory, avoidant attachment style, insecure attachment

The Power of Witnessing and Holding Space in Relationships

I’m so happy to be here checking in with you—it’s been a wild few weeks in our house. After recovering from several viruses, we finally got COVID and it was as terrible as I suspected it might be! We are on the mend now and I’m more grateful for our health than ever. I know lots of folks have been through it lately, whether it’s health-related challenges or just a lot arising in relationships and the collective. I want you to know that I see you and I know it’s hard, but we are moving through it one day at a time.

Elizabeth GilletteDecember 7, 2022attachment style, attachment theory, attachment coach, relationship goals, improving communication in a relationship, self love, self-care, self-awarenessComment

It’s PAY WHAT YOU PLEASE time! (and an announcement!)

Has anyone else been feeling ALL the things lately? In most every session I have with folks, we are reflecting on the general “weirdness” of the collective right now. We have been holding so much for a long time, and it’s just been…hard. If you’re feeling it, I want to remind you that you aren’t alone and just like everything else, I think these strange times are a phase that will certainly shift. Practicing sitting with the discomfort of the moment is helpful (for now and always), taking the very best care of yourself that you can, and reaching out to and staying connected with the people who can see you, hold you, and love you when things become difficult are all good places to put your energy. We are going to get through it!

Elizabeth GilletteNovember 15, 2022anxious attachment, anxious-avoidant, avoidant attachment style, avoidant dismissive, anxious-avoidant relationship pattern, anxious attachment style, attachment style, attachment theory, attachment coach, avoidant partner, avoidantComment

heirloom counseling blog

© 2018 Heirloom Counseling