Understanding Avoidant Attachment
This topic is near and dear to my heart. My journey with attachment work has been so interesting in that I’ve witnessed VERY strong opinions in the mainstream media about the styles—especially the avoidant style. As a clinician and human, I want to be mindful about the type of media we consume (even if it’s popular and highly recommended) and continue to explore ways we can think critically about our experiences in the world.
There is a lot of information out there about avoiding people with a primary avoidant attachment style.
That’s not what I’m here to tell you.
The fact is that people with the avoidant attachment style are told their adaptation is “bad” or needs to be “fixed” in order for them to be lovable. I think this happens because our brains are wired to connect with each other and many of us don’t know how to experience the avoidant style without feeling hurt or judgemental. And underneath all of this, we truly don’t understand what is happening for people with this style.
I think it’s time we learned.
In my personal and professional experience, learning how to show up in relationships and shift them in a way that results in long-lasting positive change has been about changing my perspective and diving beneath the surface; it has been about recognizing the patterns and dynamics that are happening that we aren’t talking about in the moment. I think this is especially true for the avoidant attachment adaptation. We probably all have some suspicion that this is going on (“they were fine a minute ago, now all of a sudden they are shut down and I feel like I’ve lost them.”), but then what? What do we do from there?
I want to support you in deeply understanding the avoidant attachment style so you can heal yourself, your relationships, and your family line. The work you do now changes everything from here on out.
And if you are someone with this style, I want you to know I’ve got your back. This course will support you in having a deeper understanding of your emotional triggers, communicating your needs with others, and creating relationships that feel safe and comfortable to you. You deserve to have that.
this course will:
Explain the origins of avoidant attachment, which is critical to shifting our perspective on this adaptation
Explain what is required to heal avoidant attachment triggers + responses
Explore how partners, family, and friends can support people with this style to increase communication and openness
Provide concrete tools and suggestions to manage moments of disconnection in your relationships in a way that will promote long-term health, intimacy, and connection
Provide guidance for reducing fight/flight/freeze/fear responses
Include a meditation for soothing avoidant attachment responses and increase your ability to connect in a healthy, grounded way
This course is for you if:
You recognize you have some of the avoidant adaptation and are curious about strategies to increase your connection with others
You are in a committed relationship with an avoidant partner and you want to increase your understanding of the avoidant adaptation so you can show up in a more supportive way
You were raised by caregivers who you are able to identify as having the avoidant adaptation and you would like to heal from your experiences and/or prevent those patterns from being passed along in your family
You are interested in learning more about attachment patterns and ways to increase connection in relationships, families, and communities
The course is self-guided, which means you pay for the course up front and then have lifetime access to it! You watch the videos and complete the worksheets at your own pace and on your own time.
I want this to be as accessible as possible for people who are interested in doing this work! This course is gender- and sexuality-inclusive and uses gender-neutral language throughout. If you are queer or a person of color, are interested in purchasing this course, and have financial hardship, please contact me so we can discuss options together.