Let’s talk about concrete, practical skills that can support you in having healthier, more fulfilling, and reciprocal relationships this year.
In a world that seems to be consistently generating new injustices, fears, and concerns about the safety of people we love, I want us to feel a sense of agency in how we show up in our relationships.
Read MoreRelationships, attachment styles, boundaries, and the hard-won lessons I've learned over the course of my relational life--that's what we're chatting about in Episode 2 of Becoming Relational with Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW.
Read MoreWelcome to the very first episode of Becoming Relational! I'm Elizabeth Gillette, LCSW and I'm so grateful you're here with me. In this episode, I discuss my passion for relationships, my own path to becoming an attachment specialist, and why I believe compassionate, nuanced connection is so vital in our world today.
Read MoreI have come to love December so much. I actually enjoy the shorter days and the very good excuse to cozy up at home. Candles, fires, hot tea. I love the lights in the dark. I have come to trust that this part of the year is important and that the longer warmer days will return. We can’t be sunny and blooming all the time. This time of year can serve as a respite from the constant busy-ness of our culture and give us the opportunity to return to a place of rest and regulation if we let it.
Read MoreIt begins in small ways: making a different choice than we would otherwise because we think it will make us appear better or cooler or more interesting to someone else. Shifting how we relate to something that has been important to us because another person doesn’t see the same value in it. Minimizing our needs because they are inconvenient to someone else, and if we inconvenience that person, they might just go away.
Read MoreIt’s important for us to understand our parts and what they are trying to do when we are using an attachment lens. These parts can give us so much information about our needs and what would be helpful and supportive to us in our current relationships (or inform us about what we really want and need in a partnership if we aren’t in one currently and want to be).
Read MoreOur environment is one of constant distraction, overwhelm, dysregulation and the desire to be almost anywhere that you are not currently. What if our work is to learn to channel those feelings into what matters most and let go of the rest?
Read MoreI’ve received a few strongly-worded emails about my offerings (including the fact that Monica and I are including a bonus astrology reading in our HELD group coaching program, because astrology is not "evidence-based"), and I wanted to address it directly because I feel like it connects to some greater issues that I see at play in the therapy/healing world currently.
Read MoreIn this eclipse time, where the things we don’t need are falling away left and right, I want to offer some permission slips for you:
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As I’ve been researching and planning for our disorganized attachment offerings, I’ve been thinking about how easy it can be to slip into younger versions of ourselves when stress, trauma, fear, or overwhelm creep in. Parts work, or Internal Family Systems, can be a beautiful and extremely helpful framework for understanding why we show up the way we do in moments of stress and anxiety—especially in our relationships.
Safety, clarity, and connection are qualities that create a grounded experience in the nervous system. When confusion and disorientation are corrected (clarity), the body and brain feel safe (safety), and the ability to connect is freed up (connection). Over the many years I’ve been exploring attachment work and supporting clients in developing a felt sense of safety in their bodies, these are the aspects that have resonated most.
Read MoreOne of the things I share with clients all the time is the reminder that we come by our attachment patterning honestly. When we dig more deeply into this idea, we can recognize the importance of the family dynamics we experience when we are young and how those patterns shape our relationships as adults. So often, the stress of daily living becomes the soup we swim in as children.
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