Posts tagged Cultivating Secure Attachment
Can you hold two things at once?

The Pay What You Please Online Course Sale is happening NOW through Sunday, April 24!

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What I Wish I Knew About Attachment 20 Years Ago

I recently returned from a short trip back to where I grew up—southeastern Michigan, the suburbs of Detroit. I don’t know about you, but when I visit the place where I spent my childhood, I have an intense emotional experience. As I walked around my undergraduate college campus, I was flooded with feelings of grief. I wish I had known and understood certain aspects of my identity when I was younger. I wish I had been more self-confident. I wish I hadn’t stayed in those terrible relationships (if you could even call them that) with people who didn’t respect or appreciate me. I wish I didn’t try to control people. I wish I didn’t try to convince people to love me. I wish I loved myself more. I wish I understood my worth and potential and was able to relax and enjoy my life instead of chasing people who didn’t recognize it either.

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Why Consistency Matters

If you’ve been around Heirloom for a while, you already know this but I think it’s important to share again: connected relationships require the presence of intentional behaviors just as much as the absence of unhealthy patterns.

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How I Use Attachment Theory

This post feels important to me. I hope it lands for you, too—and as usual, I am open to your feedback and thoughts. I appreciate you so much. Thank you for reading.

As a white woman creating material to support folks who are interested in healing their early attachment wounds and creating healthy adult relationships, I want to emphasize that I am not the end-all-be-all when it comes to this work. I approach attachment theory in a very specific way (one that I hope brings a lens of compassion and justice through relational health and fulfillment) and there are many other approaches that are just as valid and important.

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Flexibility and Secure Relationships

The themes of flexibility and patience have been up for me lately. Do you ever notice how the same lessons keep coming up over and over again until we finally learn them? For me, the lessons related to flexibility and patience usually have to do with reworking all of my big plans, pivoting last minute, WAITING (the worst!), and soooo many deep breaths.

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