I have always wanted more in relationships.

I remember being in elementary school, maybe 7 or 8, and deeply longing for a best friend. I had friends, but I always felt a little bit on the outside of those relationships. They would automatically play with each other at recess, and I had to ask to join; they sat next to each other at lunch, and I had to try to squeeze in or just choose to sit somewhere else. It wasn’t that they were being mean or intentionally excluding me as much as they were just in their own world together, and I wasn’t a part of it in a meaningful way until I was right there in front of them.

Elizabeth GilletteJuly 25, 2022attachment style, attachment theory, attachment styles, online courses, online course, relational coaching, attachment coach, Internal Family Systems, enneagram, parts work internal family systems Comment

You Are Worth Staying With

This time of year is always reflective for me. Something about the quality of the light and the chill in the air moves me to sit in my favorite coffee shop and journal about my year and everything that I’ve learned. And this year was another doozy, wasn’t it? We have been through it collectively and individually.

I’ve spent quite a bit of my relational life working to earn love from others. I didn’t know it for a long time, but I became really good at figuring out what people were looking for in a partner, in a friend—in whatever role I was playing, really—and I learned how to meet those needs REALLY well and without them even asking. It allowed me to feel important, special, and most importantly, loved (hello, fellow Enneagram 2s! I see you!).

Elizabeth GilletteDecember 14, 2021relationships, relationship anxiety, improving communication in a relationship, enneagram, mental health, attachment styles, relational patterns, secureComment

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