This time of year, there is a lot of talk about gratitude. I love that we are having this conversation and it makes me sad that we don’t extend our appreciation of this practice to other times of the year. Gratitude has also become a buzz word and when that happens, we hear it but it doesn’t really land anymore. It becomes part of the noise in social media that we scroll through without much thought.
Read MoreEach therapist has a different style. I like to think that mine is supportive and reminds people that they already have so much knowledge—and sometimes we need someone to reflect that wisdom back to us. In using the attachment framework I talk about so often in my blog, my goal is to deepen my clients’ understanding of their early (and current) life experiences and provide a fresh perspective so they can move toward healing. We all deserve healing and we all deserve support. That is how I approach every single session.
Read MorePeople share their stories with me and often ask questions, like “what do I do next? How should I move forward? Do you know of any resources for this?” Because sometimes they just need a bit of information that will support them in approaching their challenges with as much integrity and love as possible. That is where my writing comes in. I want resources to feel accessible to you. We should have access to information to support us as we work to heal ourselves and our relationships. Sometimes we don’t have the capacity to read an entire book or even if we do, we don’t experience the connection and support we might when we talk to a real person who has done the work, too.
Read MoreToday, I want to share some of what I believe it means to do the work in relationships. This list is derived from my own journey toward security and relationship health as well as my professional trainings and clinical experience; it’s not exhaustive by any means, but includes some topics that I don’t think we read about in popular books or magazines.
Read MoreIf there is one thing I could suggest to couples who are experiencing disconnection in their relationships, it’s this:
Put you phones down and look at each other.
Read MoreI'm excited to bring you an interview this week from a very special person about a very important topic. The practice of secure attachment takes time, attention, and energy--it doesn't "just happen." A high level of awareness and some education can translate to more connection and attunement in relationships, which means more satisfying interactions and a greater sense of support…
Read MoreYou know how important connection is to relationships and a fulfilling life—you wouldn’t be here otherwise. Connection is one of those things we talk about in a vague way, as if everyone just has it and you can find it conveniently. But I don’t think that’s true…
We don’t need anything more than we need each other.
Read MoreThis moment in history is not new; I know in my heart and feel in my body that we have been here before, that people of color and queer folks and other marginalized groups have been feeling this pain for as long as they have been alive. We must honor and acknowledge that if we are going to step forward with integrity…
Read MoreMost of the people I love have had difficult life experiences at some point. All of us have experienced something difficult before. What matters most is how we perceived those events. How we feel about our difficult experiences matters. In fact, it’s what matters most about a difficult event…
Read MoreRelationship structures continue to evolve. As people become more conscious and aware of how they show up in relationships and the work good relationships require, I see folks becoming more creative in the ways they get their needs met and how they meet their partners needs. The concept of nonmonogamy is not new by any means, but the words “open relationship” and “polyamory” are making their way into mainstream conversations about love, attachment, and partnership more and more often.
Read MoreI believe that in relationships of any kind, we have to know the foundation of our choice to commit. It’s important to understand the reasons we choose to commit because our emotions and feelings are not always consistent. I love my partner very much, but when I am overwhelmed or grieving or processing trauma, I don’t see that as clearly or feel it as deeply…
Read MoreA partner who doesn’t have self-awareness or isn’t interested in growing with you is probably not a good bet. This trait can belong to a person with any primary attachment style. I believe the popular literature that exists about attachment theory does not distinguish between people who are lacking self-awareness and people who have avoidant attachment. They are not the same thing.
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