Relationship structures continue to evolve. As people become more conscious and aware of how they show up in relationships and the work good relationships require, I see folks becoming more creative in the ways they get their needs met and how they meet their partners needs. The concept of nonmonogamy is not new by any means, but the words “open relationship” and “polyamory” are making their way into mainstream conversations about love, attachment, and partnership more and more often.
Read MoreI first learned about the concept of anxious attachment in adulthood from Sue Johnson’s book Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. A friend recommended it to me for the challenges I was experiencing in my partnership, and I sat in the tea house, tears streaming down my cheeks, as I saw my own attachment patterns clearly for the first time. I utilized attachment theory in my work with young children previously, but had never extended my understanding or knowledge to adult attachment. My mind was blown.
Read MoreHi!
As I'm facilitating the Attachment Exploration Group (another one is happening in June!) that started last week, I am realizing how often I have alluded to the concept of secure attachment, but haven't spent much time focused directly on the importance of secure attachment--or what it really means to embody security in relationships. So let's dive in!
Read MoreHave you ever abandoned yourself? Chosen someone else’s comfort, needs, or happiness over your own over and over again? Tamped down your own desires just to make someone else feel more comfortable? Known that what was happening in a relationship was just not working for you but stayed with it anyway?
Me too.
Read MoreHello!
We've talked over the past several weeks about the importance of understanding attachment, how to learn our attachment styles, and some strategies for identifying our needs and our partner's needs when we are feeling disconnected. That's a lot of information! Thank you for being here and exploring this with me.
Read MoreNo matter how it happens, break-ups are usually hard. Even if there is an element of relief or celebration or freedom, seeing another person saddened and hurt is hard to take, especially when that person is our partner. In long-term relationships, we become good friends, even best friends. We grow, and we change each other every day. Our own attachment beliefs, needs, and traumas are triggered within our relationship patterns and can cause us to stay in a relationship that is no longer fully joyful, healthy, or happy for us. Sometimes we are ready to put in the work that relationships require, and we are committed to doing that; but today I’m talking about relationships whose time has passed and the end is overdue for one or both of us.
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