The Here to Heal Podcast is LIVE!

I am so excited to share that the Here to Heal podcast is LIVE! I have already experienced so much joy in creating these episodes. Some of them are solo episodes where you will hear my reflections on attachment, connection, and community. The others are interviews with INCREDIBLE guests who are not only doing amazing work in the world but are also real people engaged in their healing work. It is such an honor to learn more about their experiences and the ways that they have shown up for themselves and their communities.

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Elizabeth Gillette
here to heal podcast, episode 3: moving through discomfort toward joy + liberation with bianca gragg, lcswa

Today I am talking with Bianca Gragg, LCSWA. Bianca is a community member and revolutionary mother in Asheville NC. Born and raised in the border city of El Paso Texas, Bianca has ancestral roots in Mexico, Germany, and Spain and identifies as part of the Latinx community.

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Being Gentle with Yourself as You Grow

There is something many of my clients realize once we start really digging in to relationship and self work: it doesn’t feel very good.

On one hand, I don’t enjoy seeing people experiencing discomfort or big emotions (I have had to learn to hold space for this and allow it instead of rescuing or fixing). But on the other hand, I have realized that the place where emotions are flowing and discomfort is welcomed and old hurts are received instead of pushed away is where the healing happens. Healing is feeling it all and changing your relationship with your feelings.

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Why I'm Choosing Pleasure This Month

I have been reading Pleasure Activism by adrienne maree brown and once again, her work is turning my world upside down. I realize I have so much to learn and question and that’s a really good thing. She outlines the many elements and aspects of pleasure (which is often associated with sex and sexuality, but actually extends far beyond those) and ways we can increase our sense of pleasure, joy, love, and connection.

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What does real healing look like?

One of the things I have learned from my therapy practice is that every single person has a story of healing. Even if they are in the midst of a difficult experience or transition, they are on their way to feeling whole and healed. These stories deserve space to be heard fully and explored deeply. The stories of others inform our own healing. When I’m going through something difficult and I hear from someone that they have navigated a similar challenge in a way that I never considered, I am able to move forward with new perspective and most importantly, more hope. When I hear that someone has done this before, I feel more confident that I can do it, too.

I want to share what real healing looks like. And to do that, I’m creating a podcast.

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A Brief Guide to New Relationships for the Anxious Attachment Style

I want to acknowledge that even though I speak a lot to navigating established relationships with long-term partners, I see MANY people in my practice who are not currently partnered. Their goals are often to work through their old patterns so they can show up in new relationships in a grounded, clear, and confident way. So this week, I want to share more about that experience (as it can be nervewracking and overwhelming for folks—because dating is HARD!) and provide some support, specifically for people with the anxious attachment style.

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How to Tell an Avoidant Person That They're Avoidant

This blog post has been highly requested and I’m happy to share some insight into this tricky dynamic and shed some light on why it can be challenging to have conversations about our attachment styles in the beginning stages of learning about attachment theory—especially if we have an attachment style that is designed to protect us and reduce the impact of interactions that cause us to feel out of control or overwhelmed. Of course, this doesn’t mean the conversation won’t be uncomfortable (it probably will be to some degree), but remember that the emotional response from the person is more about their own experiences and less about you.

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Understanding Avoidant Attachment

I want to start off by sharing something vulnerable with you. An interesting thing has happened for me as I’ve been working on the Understanding Avoidant Attachment Course.

I started to doubt myself.

I started to feel disoriented as I came up against all of the ways that I too have been conditioned to believe that the avoidant style is “bad.” I started to ask myself if I really know how attachment theory works, if I even understand attachment and connection and how to heal our relationships. I was incredibly uncomfortable and also really sad. Moving forward required me to tap into my resources, ask for help, and sit with the doubt long enough to transform it into something I could work with.

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What's on your secure attachment playlist?

I’ve been interested in continuing to connect with you in ways that shake up the traditional blog post. I love attachment theory because once you learn about it, it’s easy to apply it to all of the relationships in your life. One of the most beautiful ways we express our feelings about relationships, connection, and love is through music—so I started to consider what it might be like to create a Secure Attachment Playlist that captures the stability, consistency, and warmth of secure connection and allows us to tap in to that feeling whenever we want.

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