Have you ever abandoned yourself? Chosen someone else’s comfort, needs, or happiness over your own over and over again? Tamped down your own desires just to make someone else feel more comfortable? Known that what was happening in a relationship was just not working for you but stayed with it anyway?
Me too.
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One of my favorite things to do with clients is explore attachment patterns. As we know, our attachment patterning begins very early in our lives. Changing these patterns requires focus, information, and processing—and it’s totally possible to shift them to a more secure way of operating.
Read MoreThis is the first time I have written any part of my cancer story. It’s not perfect; in fact, it’s far from it. It’s also long. If you have been to therapy before, you know that the first time we speak or write a story that is based in traumatic experience, we are sometimes surprised. This is pretty personal. I am telling this story because I know there are people out there who have had this experience, or have a good friend or family member who has, and maybe this will help you understand. Maybe you won’t feel alone (you’re not). I also hope it may help you or a loved one advocate for yourself. Our bodies know things; mine did, and I’m glad I learned how to listen.
Read MoreWe have talked about attachment as a pattern of relating between two people, or even a family. This week, I want us to explore this from a bigger picture perspective.
There is a lot of hurt in the world right now, and there has been for a long time. Some of us are just waking up to the deep, chronic, persistent pain that people of color, LGBTQ people, native people, and differently-abled people (among others) have been experiencing for years. When we recognize the pain of others and are able to feel into the pain, we are motivated to make the pain go away.
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Thank you so much for following along with me as we explored the basics of attachment in relationships and why it's so very important to understand these concepts to create healthy relationships. This work is my passion and I love sharing it with you. Spring is such a wonderful time to take a look at our important relationships, clean out what no longer works, and implement new tools and strategies to support ourselves and each other. I'm thrilled to be working on some very exciting projects to do just that--so stay tuned for more information. And if you'd like to be the first to know about these projects, I'd love for you to hop on to my First to Know list.
Hello!
We've talked over the past several weeks about the importance of understanding attachment, how to learn our attachment styles, and some strategies for identifying our needs and our partner's needs when we are feeling disconnected. That's a lot of information! Thank you for being here and exploring this with me.
Read MoreHello!
I'm excited to be back with you this week to share more about attachment styles and how we can be more connected, responsive, and present in our relationships with each other. These qualities make a huge difference in how our relationships feel, how our families operate, and our general outlook on life. Thanks for being here with me! And as always, if you have any questions you are welcome to leave them in the comments or email me!
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I hope you found the first video of the Kitchen Table Series about the basic concepts of attachment helpful! I’m back this week with lots of information about each of the styles/adaptations and a link to a quiz so you can identify yours if you don’t know it already. And I encourage you to find out, because knowing it can change everything about how you relate to others—partners, parents, kiddos, and friends.
Read MoreIntegrating the concept of attachment has completely changed how I engage in my practice with clients and in my personal relationships. I'm really excited to be sharing this information with you! I’m spending the month of February reflecting on the concept of attachment and the power it holds in our lives when we fully embrace it and understand it. Attachment and love go hand in hand—and having a deeper appreciation for attachment can help us have more love and joy in our lives. I'm pretty into that!
Read MoreHi! I’ve been thinking a lot about saying no lately. Meghan O’Malley and I just finished our very first #nopeAF: A Boundaries Workshop for Women on Saturday, and it was AMAZING. We talked a lot about saying no, and also a lot about saying yes—when we really feel enthusiastic and aligned with what we’re saying yes to.
Read MoreHi! Wowza—anyone still recovering from the doozy of a year that was 2017? I can feel that the energy has shifted and 2018 is definitely here, but I think my nervous system is still catching up. I’ve tried to be extra gentle with myself over the past few weeks as I navigated traveling and an office move, and I have been giving myself some space to envision the role I’d like Heirloom to play in our communities and how I want to show up as a business owner, clinician, and human being over the next year.
Read MoreI have found personally and professionally that December can be equal parts joy and heaviness. I’ve talked about my mixed feelings about the month of December in a previous blog, and those still stand. I have also found a deep appreciation for utilizing December as a time to review your experiences, emotions, and relationships of the past year, and slow down enough to recognize all that has shifted in your world. It’s easy to be swept up in the chaos and joy of the holiday season, but maybe the time we spend reviewing the year is our opportunity to take care of ourselves and really appreciate the beauty and messiness of our day-to-day life.
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