When we are working on our own relationship patterns, it can be challenging to see how anyone might be able to relate securely or fully show up in partnerships because it really does take conscious effort.
And of course, after you’ve been doing your relational work for a while and you’re looking for a relationship that is truly secure, you realize there are lots of folks out there who haven’t discovered attachment work just yet—and it shows.
Read MoreOne of the things I’ve learned as I have engaged in attachment work is that healthy relationships don’t just happen—we have to cultivate them. Even relationships that naturally fall into place in our lives require our care and attention. Eventually, they will need us to invest in them and devote our time and energy to helping them grow.
So why not start now?
This week, I’m answering some questions about the role of attachment styles in our relationships. I love having some time and space to answer your questions because they are always so insightful! I hope you find this helpful.
Read MoreToday I want to talk a bit about boundaries in relationships—specifically, being part of a relationship where boundaries are challenging for all involved.
A lovely person on Instagram requested that we explore how to navigate a partnership where both families of origin experienced enmeshment.
Read MoreAs we venture into a new calendar year, I like to set an intention to show up as my best self. This doesn’t mean creating resolutions or setting lofty goals (especially after the year we had)—but simply acknowledging that I want to be mindful of my daily interactions and embody secure attachment and integrity as often as possible.
Read MoreIn my last blog post of the year, I want to explore how we can care for our attachment systems. We have collectively been thrown into phases of avoidant, anxious, and disorganized attachment this year—we’ve locked down, craved connection and community, as well as become fearful (rightfully so) of potential exposure to illness.
Read MoreFirst, I want to give a HUGE thank you to everyone who participated in the Pay What You Please Online Course Event last week. Every time you share my blog or courses with someone else, you support my life’s work and help my little family stay afloat during this very weird time. If you purchased a course, I can’t wait to hear from you (anytime, even if you purchased one long ago!)—please shoot me an email or fill out the survey at the end to let me know how I can keep providing the material that is interesting and helpful to you.
Read MoreI recently received a question from someone I’m connected with via social media. She reached out with this information about her relationship challenges (which I’ve edited so she remains anonymous). I’ve chosen to share it with her permission because I feel confident others have had similar experiences in their partnerships and I know how common the anxious-avoidant relationship dynamic is. I suspect that if you have ever been in a partnership with this dynamic, this person’s experience will ring true for you.
Read MoreI’ve been thinking a lot about relationship patterns and our tendency to repeat patterns that are familiar to us. I wanted to go a step beyond that idea and talk more about the ways in which we *may* more consciously choose to recreate scenarios and what we might do to engage differently in our important relationships.
Read MoreI’m back after an unplanned September hiatus! Life became so full that blogging just wasn’t an option and I had to come to terms with the fact that sometimes you just can’t do everything. I have to admit that I miss the luxury of being able to sit down and write out my thoughts, focus on one thing at a time, and make plans for the future of my business. But I’m also truly living in the moment in ways I wasn’t able to access before Nico was born.
Read MoreOne of my favorite things to do is support people in cultivating healthy relationship patterns, even if they didn’t experience those patterns growing up in their family systems or their early relationships. I believe we are capable of learning to relate in new ways and creating a deep felt sense of security in our partnerships, friendships, and community relationships.
Read MoreI recently began reading Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn and it has given me so much insight into the ways that we inadvertently send messages to the people we love that they must do something for us or behave a certain way in order to receive our care and continued support. I started to think about how this might translate to adult relationships and attachment theory.
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