The Magic of a Fresh Start (Sort Of)
Happy New Year!
I love the beginning of a new calendar year but not for the reasons you might think.
I love the fact that we approach January with the belief that we CAN change. I believe this every single day, but for one month of the year, I feel like we are all on the same page together. What makes this tough though is that I see lots of folks setting lofty goals without support. And with the onslaught of media telling us we need to lose weight/exercise/budget/buy a new house/organize/buy a new wardrobe, we can feel scattered and directionless and lose momentum quickly (usually by February). We ALL need support. We ALL need accountability.
Did you know you can change any day of the year? Most big changes don’t occur in January is my guess. The energy of a new year feels so good and hopeful and I personally really appreciate it—but it’s not THE thing that’s going to help me make the changes I’ve been wanting to make. Many people feel inspired and excited to shift things in their lives, but this takes time and more than just a new calendar year to really ground into these changes. Take the pressure off if you can. We need time, we need traction, and we need a plan. If you’ve been doing the work, the fact that it’s now January isn’t going to change much for you. And that’s good—because you’re already doing exactly what you need to be doing.
Having a clear focus and understanding of what you want is important. This is especially true for changes in relationships. Your intentions matter. Knowing how you want to feel in your life is the variable that can make all the difference in how you move forward. Do you want to feel more connected? Do you want to feel more confident? Do you want to speak up more clearly and more often? Once you know, you can create a path that supports this goal.
One of my biggest takeaways from 2018 was this: it takes a certain level of discomfort to move to the next level of a relationship. This means that the awkwardness you feel when you are having new conversations with people you really want to get to know is necessary to move to a place of more connection. That the pain you feel when sharing something with your partner of 10 years that you’ve never shared before is necessary to allow them to show up for you differently. That the overwhelm you feel when you receive help from someone when you’ve believed for so long you can do it yourself and you don’t need help is necessary for you to receive genuine support in your life. This lesson weaved it’s way through my sessions with my clients and through my personal life this year. When you want to grow and you feel discomfort, you are probably on the right track. It’s our human instinct to move away from discomfort and avoid it whenever possible. When you can stay it with it, even just for a few seconds, you are reminding your brain that it’s okay to feel a little uncomfortable sometimes. You are doing the work. Keep going. I’m doing it right alongside you.
Maybe this new year is an opportunity for you to set an intention for shifting how you show up in your relationships and I’m here to support you with that. I’ve got so many ideas for ways that we can move through those old patterns and put something new into place. I hold the belief that we can change all year long, any time we choose. I witness it every day. I think you do, too. How have you changed this year?
Here are some questions to jumpstart your thinking about the coming year: what do you hope for your relationships in 2019? More connection? More emotional resonance? More openness? More flexibility? More consistency? More joy? I encourage you to get clear on this so you can bring that intention to your interactions on a daily basis. What will it look like for you to be working toward this feeling? How will you remind yourself of this intention when you get off track?
I can’t wait to hear about all of the changes you make in your relationships this year with the support you deserve. Want to stay accountable? Just hit reply and let me know what you’re working on. I’m happy to hold this intention with you.
I’m excited to share with you that I’m launching a new resource over the next month! I’m creating support bundles—sets of worksheets with guided meditations or relationship “coaching” recordings—for specific challenges you might encounter in your daily life. These worksheets are meant to be used over and over again, as journal prompts or conversation starters or templates for difficult conversations. The meditations can interrupt a negative cycle of arguing or move you out of stuck-ness when you’re feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. And the best part? They are low-cost so they are accessible for anyone who needs them. Do you have specific situations where you could use support? If so, shoot me an email and I’m happy to work on a support bundle for you (and everyone else who experiences the same situation, because you know we all do).
As always, folks on the First to Know list will have access to them first and will receive a coupon code (you can hop on the list here if you’re interested!).
I have big plans for this year and so many ideas to support you in creating fulfilling, authentic, and deep relationships. Thank you for reading.