Our abilities to reach out and ask for help or set boundaries or state our needs are truly skills that we need to understand and practice in order to utilize them effectively and feel the benefits of them—which looks like deeper connections, greater vulnerability and sharing, and a felt sense of safety and reciprocity with the people we care about most.
Read MoreHappy Winter Solstice! I love taking time to do some reflection around the Solstice—I think it’s such a powerful ritual so we can get clear about what has worked and what hasn’t, what we are grateful for, and what we want to carry with us and cultivate in the next year.
Read MoreI’m so happy to be here checking in with you—it’s been a wild few weeks in our house. After recovering from several viruses, we finally got COVID and it was as terrible as I suspected it might be! We are on the mend now and I’m more grateful for our health than ever. I know lots of folks have been through it lately, whether it’s health-related challenges or just a lot arising in relationships and the collective. I want you to know that I see you and I know it’s hard, but we are moving through it one day at a time.
Read MoreHas anyone else been feeling ALL the things lately? In most every session I have with folks, we are reflecting on the general “weirdness” of the collective right now. We have been holding so much for a long time, and it’s just been…hard. If you’re feeling it, I want to remind you that you aren’t alone and just like everything else, I think these strange times are a phase that will certainly shift. Practicing sitting with the discomfort of the moment is helpful (for now and always), taking the very best care of yourself that you can, and reaching out to and staying connected with the people who can see you, hold you, and love you when things become difficult are all good places to put your energy. We are going to get through it!
Read MoreThis time of year always reminds me of when I found out I was in remission from cancer.
If you’ve been here a while, you know I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma when I was 21—a softball sized tumor under my arm indicated that I needed to begin chemotherapy immediately, which caused me to delay my entrance into graduate school, lose all my hair, need to be cared for and cooked for during chemo weeks, have 20 rounds of radiation therapy, and ultimately shift my entire life path.
Read MoreWe learn to love ourselves through our relationships with other people. This is supportive if you grew up in an environment where your caregivers and family members encouraged you to express and stay true to yourself, honor your needs, and stand up for yourself in challenging moments.
Read MoreEmbodiment and connection to self is one of the most important ways we can improve our relationships with others. Developing awareness of our emotional patterns, parts, triggers, and needs allows us to communicate more effectively and slow down the relational process so we can really see one another. Feeling more at home in yourself is a beautiful gift to give and receive, and I’m really excited to share an embodiment opportunity with you!
Read MoreNow that I’ve done this work for a while, I’m able to see that there are a lot of different ways to utilize attachment theory. I think the most effective way to utilize attachment theory is using approachable and inclusive materials, dropping in to the body, and creating resources and strategies that build a felt sense of safety.
Read MoreAre you the kind of person who can read article after article, book after book, and loves to absorb information and learn things? When I become interested in something, I dive right in. I want to know as much as I can.
But knowing only gets me so far.
Read MoreI have always wanted more in relationships.
I remember being in elementary school, maybe 7 or 8, and deeply longing for a best friend. I had friends, but I always felt a little bit on the outside of those relationships. They would automatically play with each other at recess, and I had to ask to join; they sat next to each other at lunch, and I had to try to squeeze in or just choose to sit somewhere else. It wasn’t that they were being mean or intentionally excluding me as much as they were just in their own world together, and I wasn’t a part of it in a meaningful way until I was right there in front of them.
Read MoreI have been thinking a lot about the idea of integration and disintegration (or abandonment) of ourselves—how easy it is to break ourselves into pieces to accommodate what’s happening in our lives. We learn how to do this when we are young. Because we are attuned to our environments, we quickly pick up on which parts of us are welcome and which parts are not, and soon we are able to put some parts away so that we are more palatable, more acceptable, and less..ourselves. This happens for all of us at some point, whether that is in our family of origin, elementary school, or later in our adolescence.
Read MoreI have been focused lately on really fine-tuning my life. This looks like examining each part of my day to day and schedule, structures and routines, and commitments and future plans to be sure everything feels like it’s in alignment. As a result, I’ve had to make some changes that are uncomfortable and stretch me in my commitment to growth—especially because I am so clear that self-betrayal (that looks like over-committing and/or committing to the wrong things) is a path I’ve been down before. I can also say that I have self-betrayed as recently as a few months ago, so it’s an ongoing journey for all of us!
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