This weekend, I was changing some log-in information for one of my social media platforms, and I had to log in to a VERY old email account to rest the password. I had forgotten it even existed! My stomach dropped the moment I realized this account was connected—because if it was still around, that means that it may have been in use without my knowing. I thought “please, please, PLEASE don’t let there be real emails in this inbox.”
Read MoreThe Pay What You Please Online Course Sale is happening NOW through Sunday, April 24!
Read MoreI’ve been thinking a lot about how our old relationship patterns show up over and over again in our lives, and how we have opportunity after opportunity to heal those patterns with new people. I see it every day in myself and the people around me (and once you see it, you can’t unsee, so get ready!).
Read MoreThis week, I am thrilled to share a guest interview with Rikki Cloos, the writer, and researcher behind @anxiousheartsguide on Instagram.
Read MoreI have been dreaming about sharing some big news with you for months, and I am finally able to tell you! I’m just going to get right into it:
I wrote a book!
I am soaking up these last few weeks of winter, taking pleasure in my cozy clothes, evening fires (Nico has been very interested in this process so it’s a sweet opportunity to slow down!), sipping hot tea, and eating homemade baked goods, and the invigorating feeling of a walk in the sun on brisk days. Soon we will be outside running and playing and socializing, and I am charging my batteries as much as possible before then. There is a lot to love in the slowness of these late winter days.
Read MoreI hope you are doing well and February is feeling more ease-full than January (I’m not sure what your January was like, but mine was LONG).
Like many of us, I’ve been hard at work in my own personal therapy on processing some of the difficult experiences I’ve gone through and growing my awareness of the old patterns I carry with me, many of which I don’t even realize are still hanging around. And just like my clients, I have had several moments where I’ve said out loud “I honestly thought I worked through that already! Why is it coming up for me again?” My answer to myself recently has been this: healing has many layers.
My toddler woke up at 4:15 this morning, and after that, my brain just wouldn’t shut off. I started thinking about how we address one another’s (and our own) attachment needs. I think social media has a wonderful place in our healing journey, and I am guilty of saving tons of posts intending to go back to them and explore them. But most often what happens is that an idea is triggered in my brain but never actually takes root. I love the concept, but I don’t actually learn how to apply it to my personal life or really get familiar with it. Am I learning when I do this? Or do I just feel like I’m soaking up information and then when it comes to applying it and showing up differently in my relationships, I’m following the same old patterns and feeling more frustrated because I’m overstimulated and full of information that I don’t have an outlet for?
Read MoreHello and Happy New Year! Do you choose a word for the year? I started doing this a few years ago and it’s been a really sweet guiding practice for me throughout the year. For 2022, my word is EMBODY and I am excited to align my work and personal life with the goal of being in my body and aware of my physical experiences and sensations, as well as embodying the practices I teach in a fuller way. I am looking forward to how this word will guide me.
Read MoreThis time of year is always reflective for me. Something about the quality of the light and the chill in the air moves me to sit in my favorite coffee shop and journal about my year and everything that I’ve learned. And this year was another doozy, wasn’t it? We have been through it collectively and individually.
I’ve spent quite a bit of my relational life working to earn love from others. I didn’t know it for a long time, but I became really good at figuring out what people were looking for in a partner, in a friend—in whatever role I was playing, really—and I learned how to meet those needs REALLY well and without them even asking. It allowed me to feel important, special, and most importantly, loved (hello, fellow Enneagram 2s! I see you!).
Read MoreIn the attachment and relationship world, we talk a lot about prioritizing connection, but we don’t necessarily talk about *how* to go about the connecting part. Depending on your attachment style, the prospect of creating connection may be fraught with stress or anxiety, or maybe even feelings of desperation or dread. I think it’s important to explore what it means to really connect with another person, what our goals are for connection, and how to connect in a way that feels natural and ultimately safe for us.
Read MoreI recently returned from a short trip back to where I grew up—southeastern Michigan, the suburbs of Detroit. I don’t know about you, but when I visit the place where I spent my childhood, I have an intense emotional experience. As I walked around my undergraduate college campus, I was flooded with feelings of grief. I wish I had known and understood certain aspects of my identity when I was younger. I wish I had been more self-confident. I wish I hadn’t stayed in those terrible relationships (if you could even call them that) with people who didn’t respect or appreciate me. I wish I didn’t try to control people. I wish I didn’t try to convince people to love me. I wish I loved myself more. I wish I understood my worth and potential and was able to relax and enjoy my life instead of chasing people who didn’t recognize it either.
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