I have been thinking a lot about how I used to think I had to hold space for EVERYTHING. It wasn't long ago that my boundaries were messy and I was overly accommodating. I caused myself a significant amount of anxiety (not to mention drama and ways to keep myself busy) by engaging in relational dynamics that were unhealthy and unpredictable.
Read MoreHas anyone else been feeling ALL the things lately? In most every session I have with folks, we are reflecting on the general “weirdness” of the collective right now. We have been holding so much for a long time, and it’s just been…hard. If you’re feeling it, I want to remind you that you aren’t alone and just like everything else, I think these strange times are a phase that will certainly shift. Practicing sitting with the discomfort of the moment is helpful (for now and always), taking the very best care of yourself that you can, and reaching out to and staying connected with the people who can see you, hold you, and love you when things become difficult are all good places to put your energy. We are going to get through it!
Read MoreNow that I’ve done this work for a while, I’m able to see that there are a lot of different ways to utilize attachment theory. I think the most effective way to utilize attachment theory is using approachable and inclusive materials, dropping in to the body, and creating resources and strategies that build a felt sense of safety.
Read MoreAre you the kind of person who can read article after article, book after book, and loves to absorb information and learn things? When I become interested in something, I dive right in. I want to know as much as I can.
But knowing only gets me so far.
Read MoreThe Pay What You Please Online Course Sale is happening NOW through Sunday, April 24!
Read MoreI have been dreaming about sharing some big news with you for months, and I am finally able to tell you! I’m just going to get right into it:
I wrote a book!
One of the most frequently asked questions I receive as an attachment therapist is how to navigate the infamous anxious-avoidant relationship pattern. It’s a tricky one and I know from experience how challenging it feels to love someone so much and also feel unclear about how to approach your relationship and your partner. This dynamic can bring a lot to the surface for both partners, so I believe it’s a real opportunity to do our personal attachment work and bring that to our relationship.
Read MoreI used to be a person who would lose herself in romantic partnerships. And to be honest, over the past 14 months of being a mother and experiencing a global pandemic, I’ve felt whispers of those times in my life. Who am I anymore? What do I like? What is it like to maintain some of my energy for myself rather than constantly investing it in others?
Read MoreToday I want to talk a bit about boundaries in relationships—specifically, being part of a relationship where boundaries are challenging for all involved.
A lovely person on Instagram requested that we explore how to navigate a partnership where both families of origin experienced enmeshment.
Read MoreFirst, I’m thrilled to be sharing 2 bonus podcast episodes with you in the next month. I’m also going to be launching a new support bundle that is filled to the brim with prompts, tools, and strategies to support you in your self-healing journey. Focusing on your own healing work is an incredibly powerful way to make huge changes to your day-to-day experience of your life, as well as directly impact every relationship you are a part of.
Read MoreWe are usually not taught how to be in relationship with other people, at least not explicitly. Our learning comes from our experiences—and until we are actually in a romantic partnership, we don’t know how to do it. We learn as we go.
Many of us have a tendency to focus on what our partner isn’t doing rather than what we could be doing better or differently to improve our relationship(s). When we focus on what isn’t happening, we aren’t bringing our best selves to the partnership.
Read MoreEach therapist has a different style. I like to think that mine is supportive and reminds people that they already have so much knowledge—and sometimes we need someone to reflect that wisdom back to us. In using the attachment framework I talk about so often in my blog, my goal is to deepen my clients’ understanding of their early (and current) life experiences and provide a fresh perspective so they can move toward healing. We all deserve healing and we all deserve support. That is how I approach every single session.
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