I’ve received a few strongly-worded emails about my offerings (including the fact that Monica and I are including a bonus astrology reading in our HELD group coaching program, because astrology is not "evidence-based"), and I wanted to address it directly because I feel like it connects to some greater issues that I see at play in the therapy/healing world currently.
Read MoreIn this eclipse time, where the things we don’t need are falling away left and right, I want to offer some permission slips for you:
Read More
As I’ve been researching and planning for our disorganized attachment offerings, I’ve been thinking about how easy it can be to slip into younger versions of ourselves when stress, trauma, fear, or overwhelm creep in. Parts work, or Internal Family Systems, can be a beautiful and extremely helpful framework for understanding why we show up the way we do in moments of stress and anxiety—especially in our relationships.
Safety, clarity, and connection are qualities that create a grounded experience in the nervous system. When confusion and disorientation are corrected (clarity), the body and brain feel safe (safety), and the ability to connect is freed up (connection). Over the many years I’ve been exploring attachment work and supporting clients in developing a felt sense of safety in their bodies, these are the aspects that have resonated most.
Read MoreOne of the things I share with clients all the time is the reminder that we come by our attachment patterning honestly. When we dig more deeply into this idea, we can recognize the importance of the family dynamics we experience when we are young and how those patterns shape our relationships as adults. So often, the stress of daily living becomes the soup we swim in as children.
Read MoreI have a bit of a controversial opinion: maybe we should be investing in the relationships we have instead of fantasizing about something better.
Read MoreI have been thinking a lot about how I used to think I had to hold space for EVERYTHING. It wasn't long ago that my boundaries were messy and I was overly accommodating. I caused myself a significant amount of anxiety (not to mention drama and ways to keep myself busy) by engaging in relational dynamics that were unhealthy and unpredictable.
Read MoreTwenty years ago, I had just turned 18 and my dad hadn’t died yet.
I was preparing to move for my first year of college. I was working as a hostess at a restaurant, eating baguette and butter for dinner most nights I was there. I was in a relationship with a person who was exceptionally intelligent and emotionally manipulative, and I felt like I didn’t deserve anything more than I already had, in that relationship or otherwise. My self-esteem was tanked and I was depressed.
I have something exciting to share:
I'm bored in my business, and I am thrilled about this!
Don’t get me wrong—I absolutely love attachment work and that love isn't going anywhere. I began my private therapy practice in 2015 and dove headfirst into all things attachment. From my training in Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples to the first three levels of Dynamic Attachment Repatterning, I've been thoroughly immersed in the world of attachment theory for many years. The resonance I feel with this work is core-deep.
This blog post is a follow-up to a previously published post, Is Your Partner Avoidant or Abusive? Let’s talk about the differences. This post continues to receive comments and engagement, and I want to continue the discussion here with additional nuance and updated considerations.
Read MoreI’m so happy to be here checking in with you—it’s been a wild few weeks in our house. After recovering from several viruses, we finally got COVID and it was as terrible as I suspected it might be! We are on the mend now and I’m more grateful for our health than ever. I know lots of folks have been through it lately, whether it’s health-related challenges or just a lot arising in relationships and the collective. I want you to know that I see you and I know it’s hard, but we are moving through it one day at a time.
Read MoreHas anyone else been feeling ALL the things lately? In most every session I have with folks, we are reflecting on the general “weirdness” of the collective right now. We have been holding so much for a long time, and it’s just been…hard. If you’re feeling it, I want to remind you that you aren’t alone and just like everything else, I think these strange times are a phase that will certainly shift. Practicing sitting with the discomfort of the moment is helpful (for now and always), taking the very best care of yourself that you can, and reaching out to and staying connected with the people who can see you, hold you, and love you when things become difficult are all good places to put your energy. We are going to get through it!
Read More