Safety, Clarity, and Connection: Supporting Insecure Attachment Styles
Hi there!
First, I want to say a HUGE heartfelt thank you to the 90+ folks who signed up for the Chaotic Family Dynamics Workshop at the beginning of the month. Monica and I were blown away by your support and interest, and I simply can’t say enough about the amazing community of people who I get to work with. Thank you for being with me on this path and doing this important work.
I have been attuning to the needs of the disorganized/fearful avoidant style in a deeper way lately, maybe because so many of us are seeing that aspect of our attachment styles activated by what we are experiencing in our world. The chaos, violence and death that we witness as well as the oppressive systems that continue to harm humans at a great cost are undoubtedly signaling to our nervous systems that danger is near. These signals can be both subtle or direct, but are sending a message nonetheless: you are not safe.
This message cues a series of biological responses in the nervous system: increased cortisol, a pounding heart, more rapid breathing, and sharper senses. Often, we don’t realize it’s happening until quite a while after it has happened—our brains are incredibly adept at allowing us to survive. When we spend a lot of time in this state, it can prevent us from connecting to others in ways we would like (and that are supportive and nourishing to us). Our survival drive can interfere with our attachment drive. This is true for all of the “insecure” attachment styles, not just the disorganized one.
Safety, clarity, and connection are qualities that create a grounded experience in the nervous system. When confusion and disorientation are corrected (clarity), the body and brain feel safe (safety), and the ability to connect is freed up (connection). Over the many years I’ve been exploring attachment work and supporting clients in developing a felt sense of safety in their bodies, these are the aspects that have resonated most.
I am really excited to share that Monica and I are offering another round of our HELD curriculum beginning this May. This time around, our focus will be on these concepts. I have found this group to be so nourishing and supportive for both the participants and myself, and I believe that this work in community and relationship is where true healing happens. I have witnessed participants shift SO much—entering into long-term partnerships, leaving long-term partnerships, starting new jobs, moving to new cities, changing the course of their lives—and the most common reflection is that the group dynamic actually “held” the space for people to make these changes and feel brave and courageous.
We have also decided that this time around, we will offer this group on a sliding scale and allow people to choose the cost of the group within a range. We want this work to be accessible to as many people as possible, and also allow folks to experience this work within the small container that we offer. Included in the cost of HELD are the following:
Weekly group meetings on Thursday mornings, 11-12:30pm EST
Weekly office hours, which are one hour drop in meetings (optional) to ask questions, gain clarity around core concepts we discussed in our weekly group meetings, connect with other participants, gather resources, and explore concepts that we did not have time to discuss in our weekly meetings
Monthly individual coaching, once with Elizabeth and once with Monica
A Mighty Networks platform where we explore prompts, offer resources and articles, and debrief after our meetings
This group opportunity gives 2.5 hours of support per week for 8 weeks, plus individual coaching monthly, plus whatever time you are interested in spending connecting on the platform outside of group time. I really do feel like you are getting a lot for the money, and I want to continue to deliver the most high quality resources I can with integrity, research, and experience.
Here is the link to learn more about HELD.
Applications are open now. If you have any questions about whether this feels like the right fit for you or the timing is right, I’m here to answer! I would love to have the chance to work more closely with you and support you in making the relational changes that will give you more joy, connection, and depth. You can do it! We can do it together.
Thank you for your support! If you know anyone who might be interested in this opportunity, could you forward them this email? It would mean a lot if you could spread the word. And don’t forget, we have two more workshops in March! They are $25 each and are packed with information.
Big hugs,
Elizabeth