Anniversary reflections and hustle culture

Hi there!

This time of year always reminds me of when I found out I was in remission from cancer.

If you’ve been here a while, you know I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma when I was 21—a softball sized tumor under my arm indicated that I needed to begin chemotherapy immediately, which caused me to delay my entrance into graduate school, lose all my hair, need to be cared for and cooked for during chemo weeks, have 20 rounds of radiation therapy, and ultimately shift my entire life path.

It’s been what seems like a long time now (15 years this year!), but there will always be a young and scared but hopeful part of me that lives inside. I feel her there as the leaves make their way to the ground, or as I contemplate how to parent my child in a world that feels so unpredictable and volatile. I feel her as I take a big risk in my business or something feels off with my health. She reminds me why life is worth living, why taking care of myself has a ripple effect in my life and the lives of the people I am connected to. She knows how it feels to be very close to losing it all—and she knows how to rally and come back stronger than ever.

I don’t think the path I’ve walked is in any way a mistake. I could explore so many reasons why, but one of them is that my experience with cancer has led me to understand what it feels like when something is seriously out of alignment in my body. There were warning signs galore when I look back now, but I was distracted. I was a senior in college and my plate was FULL (which was my choice)—from the morning when I woke up until I went to bed exhausted each night, I was often literally running from place to place, fulfilling commitments and getting things done. I chased relationships that were the opposite of reciprocal, and my anxious attachment behaviors and thoughts were off the charts. I felt awful in my body, but instead of pausing to reflect, I pushed harder and worked more.

Finally, my body had had enough, and the softball sized tumor that had been growing for who knows how long made itself known. I had no choice but to stop everything in my life, move home with my parents, quit working, and face myself. I wouldn’t wish that moment on anyone—the recognition that the changes I needed to make were actually life or death in nature.

In my coaching and therapy work, I support my clients in creating a deeper connection to their bodies NOW—before they are in a position where they have to stop their entire lives and try to get back on track. As much as we say we want this (because it sounds good in theory!), there is often resistance to slowing down and actually coming into the body. There are many reasons for this: unresolved trauma, a perceived lack of safety, difficulty getting out of their head, and even fears that one they connect to their body, it will feel so overwhelming that they won’t be able to get out or manage the sensations.

All of these fears and concerns are completely understandable. Culturally, we don’t support a strong connection with our bodies, especially when we are expected to keep going, keep moving, and keep striving, ALL THE TIME. In order to participate in hustle culture, it is essentially required that we disconnect from our bodies and our needs because it’s the only way we can get through.

Part of our personal and collective rebellion can be learning how to deeply connect with ourselves and each other in new ways. It’s going to feel vulnerable and weird and uncomfortable at times, but what do we have to lose? The idea that we have to “go it alone?” Feelings of isolation and loneliness? Not being sure if or how we can connect to ourselves and the people we love? There is a different way—and it requires us to invest in learning more, growing more, and showing up in alignment with how we want to be.

If you are a person who has experienced these feelings of pressure and pushing, I want to specially invite you to the retreat I am co-hosting this November. It has been designed with you in mind: the person who feels like they can’t slow down, like if they stop, everything falls apart. If you can trust that going away for a weekend is worth the positive impact on your day to day life, I feel so confident that you will experience huge shifts as a result of the attachment and embodiment work we are doing that weekend. Not only that, but the food is going to be incredible, the environment is so cozy, and you can’t beat a weekend in the mountains of Western North Carolina.

This coming Monday is the early bird deadline for registration. If you register on your own before Monday, you receive $200 off the full investment. If you register with a friend, you both receive $300 off the full price. I really hope to see you there, connect with you one on one, and deepen our relationships with ourselves. It’s going to be really special.

Big hugs,

Elizabeth